Younger women have always been a part of my life. They’re something to look out for, or at least that’s been my experience to date.
In the beginning, there were two sisters, both of them younger than me. Good people. Kind of hard to hold myself to their standards of propriety, though. Both girls are still with their first husbands yet today. Makes my six divorces look kind of disreputable by comparison.
Naturally, there were younger women giving me trouble from the time I started dating at age 16. It wasn’t that I wouldn’t have liked to go skirt-chasing long before that, but when you live on a ranch 6 miles from the nearest town–and 37 miles from the nearest town that has females who will actually talk to you–dude, you need wheels!
Until age sixteen, I didn’t even own a horse.
For the four dating years until my first engagement to be married, sure enough, it was the younger chicks that gave me fits. One example: I’d turned 18, was finishing up my first year in college. Linda, at just 13 years of age, was San Quentin quail all the way. But wait. There’s more. Her father was one of the wealthiest men in Havre, owner of the local gas company. Her older brother was a Golden Gloves boxer. Her uncle was a local cop.
None of which dampened my ardor in the least. She was cute, well developed, interested, and rebellious enough to sneak out of the house so I could pick her up for a date. We met at the local soda shop–literally, we really had those then–but my less than honorable intentions required getting out of town as quickly as possible.
Which we did. Drove to a tiny air base up next to the Canadian border, where even my baby face wasn’t questioned and the six-pack of Grain Belt beer was handed over without the store clerk even batting an eye.
We drove out there in the high wheat country, found an empty grain elvator literally in the middle of nowhere, turned on the AM transistor radio, and sat down in our little hideaway to have a fine old time. Which lasted for maybe 30 minutes. I’d figured a beer, two at most, would get the girl blitzed enough for me to make my move.
It might help the reader to understand that at this point, despite my future marital record, I’d never yet made it all the way with a girl. Neither knowing what I was doing nor pushing hard enough to fake it had cost me at least one girlfriend three years earlier, and things hadn’t gotten any better since.
Hang on, Becky. I’m pretty sure I’ve written about this before, and I know you’ve read every Hub I’ve published. But this story is just the setup for the punchline on this page. You’ll see.
Long story short: Linda downed not 1 or even 2 but 3 cans of Grain Belt before I realized how fast she was drinking. By then it was too late, she was bombed, I held her hair while she puked (first time for that!), and at 1:10 a.m. dropped her a block from her house so she could stagger home. No romance, no lust, nothing but caring for the impaired.
A few weeks later, she wrote me at the ranch, where I was spending the summer. Hadn’t ratted me out but was grounded because her old man thought I was another guy with the same name and a nasty rep. The bad man was some years older than me.
I wrote her Dad, told him what went down, where he could find me to prosecute if need be…and darned if he didn’t un-ground his daughter.
Look out for those younger women. They can get you into trouble from lots of angles.
All but one of my ex-wives were younger women as well. The youngest, interestingly enough, was (and is) 14 years my junior. At the time I dated 13 year old Linda, Faye would have been 4 years old.
My current (and forever) wife of today, Pam, (above photo) is 8 years younger than I am. And she is something to look out for, in a big way. Now battling more disability factors than Mitt Romney had swing state losses in the 2012 Presidential election, she’s not only a looker but a truly good person and qualified as a world class athlete back in the day. When she was a kid, out there playing baseball with the boys, those who knew her competed to have her on their team. Her pitching arm was phenomenal, and she had wheels.
Nobody could outrun her if it came to that. Lightning fast, and despite her tiny size, she could take her lumps with the best of them.
A Yahoo News article, complete with embedded viral YouTube video, introduced me to Sam Gordon today. Sam is a nine year old girl who started playing football, tackle football, at the age of eight. In the beginning, all she wanted to do was be out there, keeping up with her older brother, Matt.
The coach was blown away. In running drills, where she started out, nobody could keep up with her. She outran boys who were two years older. In the league as it stood last year, one boy (“Tank”) was more than twice her size at 150 pounds (she was around 60 pounds during that season). She makes cuts, follows blockers, and breaks tackles with all the blazing speed, skill, and aplomb of a college tailback.
She takes hits well, too. “When contact is about to be made, some of the kids stop,” she says. “I just hit ’em.” She even tackles Tank when the opportunity arises.
Yeah, sure, the pantywaist do-gooders are complaining that her parents let her do this sort of thing. To them I say, “Go on, just follow Obama around some more, keep yourselves busy. Sam’s got work to do.”
Watching Sam run inspired this post. Not just because she’s Super Triple A Awesome, which she is, but because in action she’s the spitting image of how I imagine Pam must have looked when she was eight years old. Scatback extraordinaire.
Definitely, look out for those younger women.
And now: Politics.
Obama got himself reelected, in large part because the Republicans had a thoroughly underwhelming field of candidates from which to choose in 2012. There’s no question that the mainstream media helped the President all they could, but it’s also true that Mitt Romney made some serious mistakes during the campaign–mostly in holding back when he should have been attacking, especially on the Libya question. We the People are in for some hard times ahead, one way or another, as a result of this…mess.
But time does march on. 2016 will arrive…and when it does, it will be the Democratic candidate who will need to look out for those younger women.
Because we have some, they will be ready to take on the challenge of a Presidential campaign by that time, and they are deadly.
I’ll give you a couple of examples.
Susana Martinez might be hard to convince, but she’d be one heckuva fine candidate if she could be persuaded to run.
Her Wikipedia entry states:
Susana Martinez (born July 14, 1959) is the 31st and current Governor of New Mexico. Martinez, a Republican since 1995 (she switched from the Democratic party), is the first female governor of New Mexico and the first female Hispanic governor in the United States. Martinez was the Assistant District Attorney for the 3rd Judicial District, serving Doña Ana County, New Mexico from 1986 to 1992. She served 14 years as District Attorney, from 1997 to 2011.
She was considered a potential pick for Vice President on the Republican presidential ticket in 2012, but stated numerous times she would not run.
This lady is one tough cookie and sharp as the proverbial tack. Wouldn’t a lot of liberals have their heads just explode if it turned out to be the Republicans, not the Democrats, who elected the first female President and the first Hispanic President, all in one?
Hey, the Dems got to claim the first African American President, even if he is half white and ashamed of it. Electing Susana would redistribute the diversity rights. We want everybody to have a fair shot, to get their fair share…don’t we?
Susana Martinez is a year younger than my youngest ex-wife, but Nikki Haley–at age 40–is in a whole ‘nother generation altogether. The Democrats had really best look out for this one.
Nimrata Nikki Randhawa Haley (born January 20, 1972) is an American politician and the 116th and current Governor of South Carolina. A member of the Republican Party, Haley represented Lexington County in the South Carolina House of Representatives from 2005 to 2010.
In the 2010 South Carolina gubernatorial election, Haley was endorsed for the Republican nomination by former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, and the Tea Party movement. On June 8, 2010, she finished first in the four-way Republican primary election with 49% of the vote, but fell short of the 50% required to avoid a runoff election. Haley won the runoff on June 22 with 65%, and proceeded to win the general election by a 51–47% margin.
Haley is the first woman to serve as Governor of South Carolina, and the second Indian-American governor in the country. At the age of 40, Haley is the youngest current governor in the United States.
Not unlike Susana Martinez, Nikki would give the Democrat campaign strategists absolute fits if she were to become the 2016 GOP nominee for President of the United States. The left has already tried a smear campaign or two, but her ability to fight back is right to the point, with no wasted effort. Accused by a couple of men of having had extramarital affairs (with them, of course–in their dreams! ), she not only categorically denied the accusations but stated simply,
“If I’m elected and these claims are later validated, I will resign the Governorship.”
That’s putting your money where your mouth is, doncha think? You’ll note she did get elected and has not needed to resign after nearly two years in office.
It is, I suspect, a bit too easy for some of us to look at Obama’s reelection as having “lost the war” when in truth we’ve simply lost a single battle. One that it would have been helpful to win, to be sure. But the worm turns, every dog has his day, this too shall pass, the early bird gets the worm, and we’d all be wise to look out for younger women.
Who knows? Perhaps when scatback Sam Gordon grows up, she’ll turn out to be a Tea Party quality conservative and one day go into politics. In 2016, she’ll only be 13 years old–but in 2048, she’ll be 45 and could be the GOP nominee for President of the United States of America. Facing a lying attack-mouth on the order of Barack Hussein Obama, she’ll run circles around him, both in the debates and out there on the stump.
And if contact is imminent, she won’t pull a Mitt Romney. She won’t stop. She’ll just hit him.
Sam Gordon for President 2048!