No MPs Recipes: Super Simple Whole Egg Mayonnaise (No Microplastics Diet)

Eliminating MPs (Microplastics) from my diet required condiments prepared from scratch, a whole egg mayonnaise recipe (preferably super simple) being fairly high on the priority list. I’ve been a fan of Kraft store bought mayo since I was a kid, but Kraft has salt listed as one of the ingredients and commercial salt is likely to possess MPs (microplastics) acquired from our deteriorating oceans. Slowly degrading plastics in the form of microscopic bits of pigments, foam, fiber, and fragments have been found in sea salt.

Yes, that’s disturbing.

Still, salt obtained from mines in Utah, deposited during the Jurassic era, should be free from contamination. Bye-bye former favorite restaurant, hello kitchen.

A more detailed backstory explaining my motivation to evolve beyond camp cook quality can be found in the recipe post for Berrymato Power Shot Smoothie.

Tonight was my first-ever attempt to produce homemade mayo. The result was a very mild mayo of perfect consistency and texture in which the vinegar snap is lacking (because there is no vinegar in the recipe) while the lemon juice is easily detected by the palate. In future experiments, it’s likely I’ll try doubling the amount of mustard power, switching from all lemon juice to all vinegar or a blended combination of the two, and possibly a more rugged stick blender. (The Koios brand we purchased from Amazon feels great in the hand and definitely did the job…but the motor overheated to the you-gotta-be-kidding-me point after about 15 minutes of blending.)

Overall, however, this will be my go-to basic recipe for producing homemade mayo in the future. Once the batch was done, I gleefully consumed a side of this kitchen magic with a huge soup bowl full of brown rice, ground beef, and peas. This condiment is eminently edible.

Pam got up later, fresh from a nightmare and in severe pain. She tasted the mayo and promptly announced that she would stick to her store bought Hellmann’s. Can’t win them all. As she stated after her morning meds kicked in, “I just can’t make the adjustment.” After I’ve blended a few more batches and fine tuned the taste, we’ll see if she sticks to her guns or not.

Another “side effect” of using freshly squeezed lemon juice: There was enough left over from the juice of one lemon to make nearly a cup of lemonade to sip with supper. Waste not, want not.

Special notes:

1. I probably didn’t need to go quite as slowly as I did. Every other author I could find was adamant about the “drip the oil in slowly” warning, so I wasn’t taking any chances. That said, the oil-adding time can probably be cut in half without sacrificing the end result or burning up a blender motor.

2. Oil-to-acid ratio is different than other recipes. Perhaps lemon juice works differently than vinegar in that regard; it will take some experimentation to find out.

3. There are numerous online recipes that say to “drip the oil” until–and here is the tricky part–until the mixture “starts to emulsify.” With the Koios stick blender whipping up the egg mixture, however, it was pretty much impossible to see what was happening. Looked like “egg suds” for the longest time. But at some point the stuff in the bowl just started…”looking like mayo.” Maybe I was over-whipping?

4. The recipe had to be “whole egg” because separating yolks and eggs for any reason just sounds like a ridiculous waste of time and effort to me.

5. All ingredients (except the oil) had to go into the bowl at the very beginning for simplicity’s sake. Adjusting for taste at the end is fine, but really, KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid).

The recipe:

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SUPER SIMPLE WHOLE EGG MAYONNAISE

+ 2 large eggs at room temperature
+ 1 3/4 cups safflower oil in squeeze bottle
+ 1/2 tsp. Utah Red Jurassic Salt
+ 1/2 tsp. mustard powder
+ 2 tbsp. fresh-squeezed lemon juice

Place all ingredients except oil in medium small mixing bowl. While using one hand to blend with stick blender, use the other hand to slowly add oil from the squeeze bottle (drops, not a stream) until the mixture begins to “look like mayo.” Oil volume may then be increased to a small stream until bottle is empty.

Awesome leftover mayo for the fridge, stored right in the stainless steel mixing bowl.

And…that’s all there is to it.

This much freshly blended mayo was scooped out of the domed blender blade shield with a spoon. Yum!