Sarah Palin Invokes Dr. Seuss’s Green Eggs and Ham in CPAC Keynote Speech

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Green Eggs and Ham? Oh, you betcha! Sarah Palin parodied Dr. Seuss beautifully in her CPAC keynote speech today. Green eggs and ham all around!

What’s CPAC, you ask? Good question. Wikipedia puts it this way:

The Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC; /ˈsiːpæk/ SEE-pak) is an annual political conference attended by conservative activists and elected officials from across the United States.

Kentucky Senator Rand Paul spoke very well indeed and also won the straw poll at the San Diego event (which is held in a different city every year). Texas Governor Rick Perry brought the audience to its feet with plenty of, as they say, “red meat” in his remarks. U.S. Representative Michelle Bachmann pointed out that the Republican party is the real women’s party, as it “…protects even the littlest of our sisters in the womb.” Dr. Ben Carson had his say.

But it was the former Governor of Alaska and 2008 Vice Presidential hopeful, Sarah Palin, who–in my not so humble opinion–gave the best speech of all.

She explained that, having five kids, she’s done a lot of reading Green Eggs and Ham to her little ones over the years. When her youngest, Trig, came along–“lucky little Trig”–she had to spice up the story a bit…and now it goes something like this:

I do not like this Uncle Sam
I do not like his healthcare scam

CLUCKERS and CPAC Sarah Palin 111

I do not like these dirty crooks
Or how they lie and cook the books

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I do not like when Congress steals
I do not like their crony deals

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I do not like this spying, man
I do not like “Oh yes we can”

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Unfortunately, I missed several verses of Sarah’s Dr. Seuss riff. There was a slam at all the “free” stuff President Obama has promised along the way, pointing out that nothing is free. Somebody always has to pay for everything…and that somebody is inevitably you, the taxpayer.

I do not like reporters’ smug replies
When I complain about their lies

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On Fox News, even Geraldo Rivera got a kick out of the Sarah Palin speech, referring to her “fiery and comical” closing keynote address. That’s impressive.

Also on Fox News, just yesterday, Sarah was asked by Greta Van Susteren if she (Sarah Palin) was going to run for President in 2016. Her answer (paraphrased, as I failed to take notes), added up to, “Maybe, if needed.” She’s not doing any of the usual shall-I-run stuff like putting together organizations to figure out if she should run. On the other hand, if she doesn’t see the right candidate in the mix when the time comes, then yes, she would run. On the other other hand, she believes we have a plethora of possible candidates who can do the job and be willing to do it, so…probably not. But maybe.

Makes sense to me. Either way, it was good to see her on a roll at CPAC, slinging the zingers along with a side of Green Eggs and Ham.

Update: March 9, 2014. Becky found Sarah Palin’s entire Dr. Seuss riff for us. As she said, “Hat tip to the Internet”. Hat tip to Becky, too. Here’s the transcript in its entirety:

“I do not like this Uncle Sam. I do not like his healthcare scam.
I do not like these dirty crooks or how they lie and cook the books.
I do not like when Congress steals. I do not like their crony deals.
I do not like the spying man. I do not like ‘Oh yes we can.’
I do not like this spending spree. We’re smart; we know there’s nothing free.
I do not like reporters’ smug replies when I complain about their lies.
I do not like this kind of hope. And we won’t take it, nope, nope, nope.”

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