No MPs Recipes: Super Simple Whole Egg Mayonnaise (No Microplastics Diet)

Eliminating MPs (Microplastics) from my diet required condiments prepared from scratch, a whole egg mayonnaise recipe (preferably super simple) being fairly high on the priority list. I’ve been a fan of Kraft store bought mayo since I was a kid, but Kraft has salt listed as one of the ingredients and commercial salt is likely to possess MPs (microplastics) acquired from our deteriorating oceans. Slowly degrading plastics in the form of microscopic bits of pigments, foam, fiber, and fragments have been found in sea salt.

Yes, that’s disturbing.

Still, salt obtained from mines in Utah, deposited during the Jurassic era, should be free from contamination. Bye-bye former favorite restaurant, hello kitchen.

A more detailed backstory explaining my motivation to evolve beyond camp cook quality can be found in the recipe post for Berrymato Power Shot Smoothie.

Tonight was my first-ever attempt to produce homemade mayo. The result was a very mild mayo of perfect consistency and texture in which the vinegar snap is lacking (because there is no vinegar in the recipe) while the lemon juice is easily detected by the palate. In future experiments, it’s likely I’ll try doubling the amount of mustard power, switching from all lemon juice to all vinegar or a blended combination of the two, and possibly a more rugged stick blender. (The Koios brand we purchased from Amazon feels great in the hand and definitely did the job…but the motor overheated to the you-gotta-be-kidding-me point after about 15 minutes of blending.)

Overall, however, this will be my go-to basic recipe for producing homemade mayo in the future. Once the batch was done, I gleefully consumed a side of this kitchen magic with a huge soup bowl full of brown rice, ground beef, and peas. This condiment is eminently edible.

Pam got up later, fresh from a nightmare and in severe pain. She tasted the mayo and promptly announced that she would stick to her store bought Hellmann’s. Can’t win them all. As she stated after her morning meds kicked in, “I just can’t make the adjustment.” After I’ve blended a few more batches and fine tuned the taste, we’ll see if she sticks to her guns or not.

Another “side effect” of using freshly squeezed lemon juice: There was enough left over from the juice of one lemon to make nearly a cup of lemonade to sip with supper. Waste not, want not.

Special notes:

1. I probably didn’t need to go quite as slowly as I did. Every other author I could find was adamant about the “drip the oil in slowly” warning, so I wasn’t taking any chances. That said, the oil-adding time can probably be cut in half without sacrificing the end result or burning up a blender motor.

2. Oil-to-acid ratio is different than other recipes. Perhaps lemon juice works differently than vinegar in that regard; it will take some experimentation to find out.

3. There are numerous online recipes that say to “drip the oil” until–and here is the tricky part–until the mixture “starts to emulsify.” With the Koios stick blender whipping up the egg mixture, however, it was pretty much impossible to see what was happening. Looked like “egg suds” for the longest time. But at some point the stuff in the bowl just started…”looking like mayo.” Maybe I was over-whipping?

4. The recipe had to be “whole egg” because separating yolks and eggs for any reason just sounds like a ridiculous waste of time and effort to me.

5. All ingredients (except the oil) had to go into the bowl at the very beginning for simplicity’s sake. Adjusting for taste at the end is fine, but really, KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid).

The recipe:

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SUPER SIMPLE WHOLE EGG MAYONNAISE

+ 2 large eggs at room temperature
+ 1 3/4 cups safflower oil in squeeze bottle
+ 1/2 tsp. Utah Red Jurassic Salt
+ 1/2 tsp. mustard powder
+ 2 tbsp. fresh-squeezed lemon juice

Place all ingredients except oil in medium small mixing bowl. While using one hand to blend with stick blender, use the other hand to slowly add oil from the squeeze bottle (drops, not a stream) until the mixture begins to “look like mayo.” Oil volume may then be increased to a small stream until bottle is empty.

Awesome leftover mayo for the fridge, stored right in the stainless steel mixing bowl.

And…that’s all there is to it.

This much freshly blended mayo was scooped out of the domed blender blade shield with a spoon. Yum!

10 thoughts on “No MPs Recipes: Super Simple Whole Egg Mayonnaise (No Microplastics Diet)

  1. Thank you for the second recipe, which is much simpler than the one I learned (and gave up on) half a lifetime ago. Using the whole egg is definitely simpler, and I wonder why the “use only egg yolks” rule exists. As for the blender, I was also told that mayo had to be hand blended… which means a LOOOOOONG time blending until you have mayo. But I gave up on it because of (I’m sorry) short shelf life and too much risk of food poisoning for my taste, since I was in the tropics at that time
    I also agree with Pam as to the tast of Kraft and Hellman’s. Both are very yummy.
    By the way, would using live culture cider vinegar have an impact on the flavor and shelf life?
    As for the microplastics, well that is truly another consideration and I did buy the Utah salt to start the transition. It arrived yesterday.
    Thanks again! Now, just remember the crowd pleasing favorites: mustard, deviled eggs, barbeque sauce, guacamole, and steak rubbings recipes. LOL
    Finally, Please keep this as a low priority compared to your literary work. LOL
    Manny

  2. I know that when cooking with separated eggs, the white will reach peaking consistency much faster than if you use a whole egg. I have made meringue before, that is then combined with the yolk for things. That may be why they tell you to separate the egg. I made mayonnaise one time when we lived out in the boonies and ran out of mayonnaise. It would be 2 days before we could manage to get into town to buy mayonnaise. I used a hand mixer and the Betty Crocker recipe. I will send it to you, if you like. It tasted pretty much like store bought, but I used cider vinegar in it. I used to make my own tartar sauce too, and it was delicious. Dennis really liked it better than the store bought, but I got a job and didn’t have time to make it as often.

  3. Manny: Hah! Making the recipes a lower priority than the fiction tales might have one unpleasant side effect: I might be dead! (Which would, they tell me, make writing and publishing anything a bit more problematic.) But to ease your anxiety, rest assured that I did start on the next Grunt chapter last night after finishing this post, producing more words there than here before I went to bed.

    Yes, I do believe vinegar would, or at least should, extend self life and also reduce the possibility of food poisoning from the raw egg in the recipe, not to mention make a noticeable flavor difference. If I don’t blow up the stick blender entirely, I’ll probably find out fairly soon.
    —————————-
    Becky: Understood. There’s no way I’d be managing the transition to this much kitchen time if I had an outside job, or even if we still lived at the Border Fort. Spirit set us up beautifully here in Deer Lodge; the distance from the house to Safeway clocks in at a “whopping” 1.3 (one point three, NOT thirteen) miles. If I still had to run all the way from Palominas to Safeway in Sierra Vista every time I needed a different ingredient for a new recipe, the time loss would be prohibitive.

    Plus, getting through the checkout line in SV takes time. In Deer Lodge, especially if I shop late in the evening (they’re open until 11:00 p.m.), I will often be the only customer in the store, or close to it. Going twice a day or even more is simply no inconvenience at all.

  4. Hi, Becky! Let me take you up on your offer for recipes for the mayo and the yum yum tartar sauce! 😀 I will give them a try, using Utah salt. I love tartar sauce and mustard and all garnishings, but never learned to make them.
    And Ghost, I do agree that even with the Internet, it is not easy to publish much once you lose your physical body… 😉 Though it does sound like a fascinating topic for a book: “How to publish Once you’re Gone” (Subtitle: Leave a legacy without the complications!) Hey, I can set up a company to handle the contracts and such and it could make a lot of money! The “Speak Out Foundation”, Maybe? LOL

    Sounds like my inner child is having a fun moment…
    Take care, dear friends! ……… Manny

  5. These are out of the Better Homes and Gardens big checked cookbook. They have a lot of recipes for everyday things. Mine is the 1970 version. I had a 1950 version, but gave it to a friend that did not own a cookbook. I got that at a thrift store, cheap.
    Mayonnaise recipe
    1 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon dry mustard 1/4 teaspoon paprika
    dash cayenne 2 egg yolks 2 tablespoons vinegar
    2 cups salad oil 2 tablespoons lemon juice
    Mix dry ingredients; blend in egg yolks. Add vinegar and mix well. Add salad oil, 1 teaspoon at a time, beating with rotary or electric beater, till 1/4 cup has been added. Add remaining oil in increasing amounts, alternating last 1/2 cup with the lemon juice. Beat in 1 tablespoon hot water. Makes 2 cups.

    Tartar sauce
    1 cup mayonnaise or salad dressing 3 tablespoons finely chopped dill pickle
    1 teaspoon grated onion 1 tablespoon snipped parsley
    2 teaspoons chopped canned pimiento
    Combine ingredients. Chill. Makes 1 cup.
    I made the tartar sauce with a tiny bit of dried parsley, and without pimiento. I didn’t have pimiento and we don’t like them anyway. I only started making it, because we ran out and were having fish for dinner. We did not want to make a trip to town for things. Dennis was picky about tartar sauce and loved this recipe so much I just made it, instead of buying it.
    Manny, if you want mustard, just go to the store spice section and buy a tin or jar of dried mustard. It is the ground up and powdered seeds. Just mix it with water, to constitute it. When I lived in TN, I lived down the road from a Mennonite grocery store and used to buy spices there. I bought dried mustard there a couple of times.
    Deviled eggs are easy and I mostly make them from the eye measure. I do make some really tasty ones though.
    Boil 1 dozen eggs till the yolk will be solid. Cool by running cold water over them and peel them. Slice them in half lengthwise, dumping yolk into a bowl, and place whites on your serving plate. Use a fork to break the egg yolks into smithereens, don’t leave chunks. Add 1 tablespoon prepared mustard, and 3 tablespoons dill pickle juice. Some use vinegar instead, but I prefer the flavor the dill juice adds to it. Milder and with the dill flavor in it. Add dash of salt and pepper in mixture, to taste. Stir, and add enough mayonnaise to make the mix creamy, not dry. Put the egg yolk mixture into a baggie and seal, cutting one corner off to squeeze the mixture into the egg white bases. If you like paprika on them, sprinkle a small amount on top. I don’t care for paprika and use a minimal amount of it.

  6. Thank you, Becky! No wonder my deviled eggs never worked out right! I had the wrong ingredients… 🙁
    I will test everything over the next few weeks, and let you know how it went! Maybe for Christmas or New year’s dinner! 😀
    Tartar Sauce is another one I had the wrong ingredients for… :-/

    Take care!
    Manny

  7. Becky: What Manny said: Thank you! The tip on adding 1 tsp. of oil at a time in the early stages of mayo production is very helpful. That alone will speed up my process and keep the blender motor from melting into a small pile of slag. Also, I’ve been thinking about tackling deviled eggs sooner or later–absolutely love them–and your way of preparing them makes total sense.
    ————————
    Manny: Interesting proposition. I’m not sure how the contracts would work out except for the estate of the singer, but with the Speak Out Foundation we might to be able to have some real crossover hits, eh? Alternative book title possibility: How to Publish from the Other Side for Fun and Prophet…. 😀

  8. If you need a good recipe for quick bread, it is on my hubpage. If you need any more recipes, let me know. I may even write another hub. I have not written one for quite a while.

  9. Since I make deviled eggs from memory and never have measured the stuff, I hope you realize you might need to adjust a little to make it taste right for you.

  10. No idea how I missed your last two comments, Becky. Only spotted them tonight because I used the recipe to make my 2nd batch of mayo, this time substituting white wine vinegar for the lemon juice and upping the mustard powder to 1 tsp. Much tarter flavor, as expected, and not bad at all. Would have gone with half vinegar and lemon juice but was short on time to squeeze the lemon. Thanks to your hint, I added the oil in “squirts” from the squeeze bottle instead of worrying about drip-drip-dripping away. It still came out perfect…in six minutes flat. Barely warmed up the blender at all.

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