No MPs Recipes WARNING: Wheat & the Deadly Bread Machine (No Microplastics Diet)

Wheat is deadly. Modern day bread machines make it even more so. Hence this warning, the first such posted in our No MPs Recipes cookbook.

A further discussion of MPs (microplastics) inadvertently taken into our bodies can be found at Berrymato Power Shot Smoothie.

As part of my diet begun in mid-November of 2017 and created step by experimental step, I decided to buy a bread machine and start baking my own bread the easy way–which is why it says “Deadly Bread Machine” in the title. The SKG unit we purchased from Amazon does the job without much labor on the cook’s part. You just plunk all the ingredients in the anodized aluminum baking bucket, making sure the bread flour is on top of the liquids and the yeast is on top of the dry flour. Then with the push of a button, the thing is off and paddling, beginning the kneading progress. A few hours later, fresh bread and hardly any effort at all.

Of course, the manual doesn’t mention how hot the bail on the bread bucket gets; you’re supposed to be smarter than a first grader, apparently. With so little labor involved, the bread machine is indeed deadly, making it so-o-o simple to consume loads and loads of killer wheat. It’s just too easy to have all those baked goods around, and therein lies the rub.

Wheat, according to various scientific studies, is known to open up gaps in the walls of your intestines. The immune system is alerted when wheat is consumed, but it’s also confused and sometimes starts shooting at those selfsame walls. Plus, two slices of bread will spike blood sugar as quickly as one candy bar. Gliadin, one of the components of gluten (think “gluey” aspects of baking flour that help hold baked goods together) is one of Mother Nature’s sneaky villains.

Wheat is also, get this…addictive.

But that isn’t even the worst of it. Gluten free flour can be found these days, so we’ve outsmarted Mother Nature on that score…we think. Anyway, the most frightening weapon in wheat was put there by…us. Humans. GMO (gene modified) wheat is everywhere these days, the end product of scientists producing high yield hybrid wheat* which is what you see in the stores, either in baked goods or in flour for kitchen use. And this hybrid wheat, a financial boon for the growers for sure…has nasty toxins that belong to the hybrid and the hybrid alone.

Still, even with all of that, I wasn’t quite ready to give up wheat entirely. No hamburger buns? No toast? No more waffles? Okay, so the last waffle I fixed for myself somehow didn’t taste yummy any longer, but that was a fluke, wasn’t it?

No. No, it wasn’t. On the No MPs diet, my system was no longer overloaded with toxins from every food angle imaginable. It had quickly become sensitive, aware, able to spot–and react to–a toxic intruder very quickly.

I was about to get educated

The first loaf out of the new bread machine was a joke, overdone crust with an underdone center. I sampled a thin slice of one heel anyway. My innards were a bit upset and funky the rest of the night, but after my morning constitutional, things seemed back to normal. Probably the lousy baking job, I thought. Worth another try.

The first “learning curve” loaf baked in the SKG bread machine. The cavern was produced by Pam’s finger, poking and testing and nibbling tiny bites.

With a different recipe, this one from Betty Crocker. The SKG version had required too much water, too much sugar, and a few other things I wasn’t sure about.

The second loaf (thank you, Betty) looked really nice. Fresh and hot out of the baking bucket, it looked kitchen-worthy and inviting. I got out the bread knife, sliced off a big ol’ healthy chunk of heel, added four thin pats of butter, and slathered it with raspberry preserves.

Fully baked and ready to leave the bread machine baking bucket. Is this what they mean by a bucket list?

That’s not too big a slice…is it?

Yes, I do like a little bread with my jam. (Preserves, technically.)

M-m-m, good!

Might sill benefit from a wee bit of fine tuning in the recipe, but no complaints…for a few minutes, after which a trip to the closet to get the Alka Seltzer became mandatory. The bread had tasted okay going down, but the aftermath was horrible. One of the primary motivations for starting the No MPs diet was the massive swelling in my lymph nodes that had given me and mine considerable concern for the previous five years. Once on the diet, those glands had been receding noticeably in size. Without doubt, I was on the right track. But within two hours after ingesting the admittedly oversized slice of bread, a node cluster on the left side of my neck had flared dramatically.

Just ahead of and below my left ear, the sudden swelling was rock hard to the touch and terrifying to my brain. It was like I’d escaped from a World War II Nazi prison camp only to suddenly hear guards on my trail. With dogs. “No-o-o-o!”

In that grim moment of discovery, I swore off wheat for life.

The new swelling lessened noticeably after about six hours, down at least by half and not nearly as hard to the touch. When it was time to hit the bathroom after getting up for the day, I had to strain a bit–which I’d done every day for many years, but which never happens on the No MPs diet if I stick to it and don’t mess up like, for example, eating a big slice of nice, fresh, hot bread. Not only that, but the toxic stink motivated Pam to get out her favorite Febreze spray on the spot.

This is, after all, a small house.

Am I suggesting that the world give up on wheat just because it’s poisonous?

Nope. Not even close. According to wheat.org, wheat is eaten by more than 2.5 billion people in 89 countries. Wheat makes a living for a lot of people and provides protein for a whole lot more. Without this staple, untold numbers would die. For those who love their hamburgers, Subway sandwiches, bagels, pasta, doughnuts, cakes, and pies, even thickening for gravies and stews, wheat flat-out keeps a lot of folks alive and happy to come to the table.

Until, of course, it kills them. But that probably takes a while in most cases. I ate wheat for the first 74 years of my life. Wheaties! The Breakfast of Champions! If I’m a typical example, the average consumer doesn’t need to worry too much about it unless he/she wants a gut that works like it should or a chance to live beyond the age of seventy-five.

Turns out they have non-GMO, gluten free coconut flour out there now. Maybe I’ll try that…eventually.

In the meantime, Pam just got up (2:00 a.m.). As part of her breakfast, she asked for toast. I cut a slice from the loaf shown above, toasted it lightly for her, and she loved it. So we’ll be keeping the deadly bread machine and using it to help keep my wife alive a little longer, her need for calories and carbs stronger than her need to detox. In truth, it’s probably the toxins that are keeping her alive anyway, considering the numerous prescription drugs she has to take to function day to day.

Clearly, what’s good for the goose is not always what’s good for the gander.

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*Technically, as my sister, Donna, pointed out to me a few days after I published this post, “hybrid” and “GMO” are not technically the same thing. We were covering a wide range of topics during our conversation and for the sake of time I chose not to explain my thinking on this. Basically, a donkey jumps a horse and a mule is born, which is a hybrid form so unnatural that Mommy Nature doesn’t even let mules make mules. Hybrid wheat is formed by a similar process (don’t ask me which strain of wheat is the donkey and which is the mule) and hybrid wheat cannot reproduce to make more of itself, either.

Following me so far?

Okay, so hybrid wheat produces toxins unknown to the parent plants. GMO wheat (wheat genetically modified by humans) also produces undesired effects when consumed. The “Don’t mess with Mother Nature” rule has been violated in both cases. Ergo, to me, they’re one and the same thing.

I’m all about keeping it simple…even if my thinking violates a few other “rules.” It would be interesting to find out if mule meat contains toxins unknown to either donkey or horse, but approval and funding for that study might be a long time coming, all things considered.

9 thoughts on “No MPs Recipes WARNING: Wheat & the Deadly Bread Machine (No Microplastics Diet)

  1. Evidently you have gotten a bit gluten sensitive. Katy has a friend that is gluten intolerant and she has results within an hour. Hers are rather alarming and it is amazing how many gluten free products are out there. She also has a love for mac and cheese that overwhelms the allergy to it. Her mom refuses to believe that it is a problem for her daughter to eat.
    Betty does have some very good recipes for bread.

  2. I am tempted by the bread making machine, though I agree that it could be dangerous for my health… 🙁
    I love bread and would probably overdo it… maybe… or maybe not.
    Let me offer you an alternative: hispanic rice.:-)
    the recipe is simple and can be adjusted to the size of your pot.
    For 1 or 2 cups of rice.
    Heat up 2 cups of water for 1 cup of rice, or 4 cups of water for 2 cups of rice.
    Cover the bottom of the pot in oil (cooking, olive, corn… any edible cooking oil) and first fry one or two cloves of garlic (mashed, minced, sliced or whole), and then put in the cup or two of rice with about1 teaspoon of Jurassic Salt per cup of rice (I have a low salt diet, but you can adjust to your taste). Stir with a wooden spoon, getting all the rice to pass by the oil coated bottom of the pot. Then add the hot water, and when it boils, lower the heat to the lowest setting, cover the pot, and let it cook for 17 minutes. At the end of the 17 minutes you should see little holes in the rice, where the steam came out, and it should be relatively dry (it it still looks like soup, you added too much water!).
    My wife loves my recipe for regular whole grained rice, and you can add a whole onion or sliced bell pepper to liven it up, if you wish (I love the boiled onion!). I hope you and Pam like the recipe and you can write it up with pictures and stuff… 🙂
    Manny

  3. There are many alternatives to wheat flour such as rice flour. I’m not sure what food sources have been genetically modified. France at one point would not buy our wheat because it was gmo wheat and that still may be the case. I have some cook books I found on kindle regarding a non gmo diet and alternative flours to replace wheat along with recipes. Our food sources have been compromised because there is little oversight when big business wants more money. At one point the federal government was considering outlawing home gardens about the time I lived in Silt I was made aware of that and able to verify that it was shot down…. Too many greedy people out there.

  4. Becky: Allergies are definitely nothing to fool around with–as in ignore. One of my exes, Sadie, has an extreme allergy to Brazil nuts. We knew this, but she still got caught one evening when we (Sadie, her daughter, and I) all stopped at a place in San Diego for banana splits after going to a movie. There was no Brazil nut in the recipe but some wee trace had remained inside one of their machines. Within 45 minutes, her airway was swollen so close to shut that she could barely breathe.
    ————————————–
    Manny: Your rice recipe does look interesting. I’ve been working with brown rice off and on since reading Paul Twitchell’s book that mentioned the brown rice fast. That was in 1974. Won’t touch white rice unless it’s at a Chinese restaurant, which of course is no longer an option. At the moment, my two primary meals of the day consist of (1) a plate of mashed potatoes (skin on, with spices), some oil-simmered ground beef (with spices), and frozen peas warmed just enough to be thawed….then (2) a bowl of brown rice topped with the same ground beef and frozen peas combo. Homemade mayo, toasted sesame oil, and additional salt added at table to taste.

    Hard boiled eggs and dried apricots for snacks or (in the case of the apricots) dessert.
    ======================
    INTERMISSION: Started writing the above around 4:00 p.m. but had to postpone the finish due to food poisoning symptom. Might not have been that, could have been mixing the wrong foods in my tummy, chemical more than bacterial, but I’m suspecting the latter. Specifically, carelessly using spinach that had outlived its USE BY date. Didn’t quite hurl, but close. Heavy cramping. Drank down a dose of Lomatiium (desert parsley tincture good for killing viruses and bacteria), crashed on the bed for an hour and a half, and was nearly back to normal. Since then, have been to Safeway, boiled potatoes, had supper, etc. All good to go now.
    ===================
    I’m still tinkering with my mashed potatoes recipe. The spuds are always edible but the details need to be fine tuned before the recipe is published.

    The most intriguing part of the Hispanic rice recipe (as listed by Manny) is the addition of cooking oil in the bottom of the pot. Wouldn’t be surprised if one day I do publish a rice recipe, not precisely Manny’s but “inspired by our friend Manny’s recipe for Hispanic rice.” It’s got my thinking cap buzzing.

  5. Mary: I’ve actually got some gluten free oat flour in the cupboard, purchased prior to realizing I had a gluten problem. Surprisingly, the bread I’ve been buying for Pam at Safeway is non-GMO (though not gluten free–not sure there is such a thing). So she’s dodging probably 2/3 of the extreme danger of most U.S. wheat even though the gluten alone is enough to make it a no-no for me.

    Your cookbook discoveries are food for thought, though. Looks like I need to check those out, see if there’s a non-wheat flour that will actually make decent bread.

    I’m not sure straight rice flour would work for baking bread; do you have experience with this? From my reading so far, it looks like even “oat bread” is more wheat than oats, primarily because it’s the gluten that holds the bread together.

    The federal attempt to shut down home gardens doesn’t surprise me. Disgusts, yes, but not surprises. There was also a powerful effort made to shut down any vitamin pills that weren’t prescription only; that war went on for years (could be still going on for all I know) and I was at one time in the thick of it. Congress critters were even holding town hall meetings hosted by irate health food and/or supplement firms, most of them small mom and pop businesses. The U.S. Representatives got an earful on that one. In Arizona even today, and likely in other states, there’s a drive by the government–at both the state and federal levels–to take over all water in the country as well. That one is most definitely not over yet. If the enemy ever gets it done, even private wells on private property will have use meters mandated by law.

    Like the old saying goes, if you love either sausage or the law, never watch either one being made.

  6. I have GMO free seeds for vegetables, and Herbs. I do know how to harvest the seeds too. I will proceed to do that if I need to.

  7. I have to admit that I am too much of a glutton to enjoy the gluten free, etc. discussion… specially not when my allergies are acting up, even though it could be my body screaming for me to pay attention… 🙂
    As for the cooking oil at the bottom of the pot, it somehow helps the rice stay in grains instead of clumping together. As a child I remember we had to wash our rice before cooking it, and I would dump it in the pot with the little bit of oil on the bottom and stir away… adding whatever flavor or seasoning I wanted, besides the salt. the baby noodles (thinner than angel hair) could be fried with the rice kernels and they would cook dark brown… a nice contrast to the white rice. 🙂
    Give my love to Pam! Oh, and you could think of stir fry chicken strips with peppers and onions, which will turn into chinese chicken friend rice if you add rice at the end… 🙂 mmmm… but do we have any non hormone filled chicken available?
    Old corny corny joke: did you hear about the genetic experiments to combine chicken with a centipede? They want to get more thigh and leg dark meat…. parum poom! LOL
    Take care, dear friends… I’m getting foolish again! LOL

    I think I need another Grunt chapter to get me back to normal! 😉
    Manny

  8. I love anything stir fried. I will make extra rice, so I have some left over and then chop up whatever vegetables and meat to go in with it. I like pouring a bit of chicken broth in with the vegetables after I fry them, to make them more flavorful. It also helps get them a bit more done. I like them just a tiny bit more cooked than most stir frying allows.

  9. Becky, stir fry sounds really good, I have to admit. Especially since the right chicken fried rice is one of my all time favorite dishes. Fortunately or unfortunately (as Manny referenced in his comment on allergies), right now I’m such a really fanatic purist–in my own way–that when I do approach something like that as a kitchen effort, it will be with great hesitation and caution. The last chicken breasts I bought from Safeway (just prior to me getting so hardcore) were so humongous that a steroid-pumped pro athlete would have had trouble competing. Can’t believe any chicken naturally grows like that. And in our small local economy here, finding hormone free chicken could well be a lost cause. Beef is easy; this is big time cattle country and there are several varieties of moo cow without either hormones or antibiotics available in the meat section most days.

    However, this comment discussion inspired me to check Amazon for pasta, and sure enough, there’s a gluten free, non GMO lentil pasta with rave reviews that comes in bulk, 5# for $29. I stuck a batch in my shopping cart and will order it later this week. No salt, nothing but green lentils ground to flour consistency, run through a hot bath to make it sticky enough to form, then run through a shaper. That’s it. Definitely worth a try. Many reviewers state it’s as good as any wheat pasta or even better.

    Manny, I did get started on the next Grunt chapter last night. Got a long way to go yet, but should get it published sometime this week. Might be a couple weeks until the one after that, though; places to go and people to see offline.

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