The Forty Pound Chicken

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Jiggy Skunk has finished two weeks of his thirty day stint at the Rootin’ Tootin’ Addiction Bootin’ Boot Camp for young drug addicts. He’s doing surprisingly well, or perhaps not so surprisingly, considering the fact that his sire, the renowned reformed drug pusher, Shady Skunk, quit the drug life cold turkey back when.

That toughness may well be in the Skunk family genes.

However, his own addictions are not the only problems he faces at boot camp. Every other critter in rehab has a known problem with impulse control. Brewster Rooster tried to throw his cockiness around, and Jiggy found it necessary to blast him with a full strength dose of Skunk pheromones. That sort of frontal attack he could deal with.

But thievery is another matter.

The most notorious thief in camp is Candy Quail, such a fat young bird that other campers have begun calling her Chunky Chicken or, alternatively, the Forty Pound Chicken. Heavy Chevy has not been applied to date, mostly because few if any barnyard critters know the difference between Chevrolets and Fords in the first place.

Candy will steal anything she can stuff down her gullet, including prescription drugs (antibiotics are sometimes carelessly left lying around). Her #1 choice for a heist, though, is snack food. Candy, especially; hence her name.

No one remembers what her real first name might be.

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4 thoughts on “The Forty Pound Chicken

  1. Thanks; glad you love it. My favorite phrase (above) is, “…the gluttonous among us.” When did the term “gluttony” fall out of use in the English language? It apparently puts far too much responsibility for one’s weight squarely on one’s self, and in today’s society, we can’t have that….

    Not that there aren’t numerous cases of obesity involving factors other than gluttony, but still.

    As for Phil Robertson, it looks from today’s coverage like he’ll end up completely victorious. On Fox News, they’re saying Cracker Barrel yanked Duck Dynasty items from the shelves–and caved within 24 hours, after hordes of DD fans deluged them via social media protests. At a guess, A&E will cave as well, eventually.

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